she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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