Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize