i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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