Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
