we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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