Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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