called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
