Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
