Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
