those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
