And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
