I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
