Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
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I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
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He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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