we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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