I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.