And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night