she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize