i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
