I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
