dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
