she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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