My boss' voice literally gives me gas
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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