Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
