Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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