when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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