Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
