I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
