I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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