Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
