we made out on top of his cat.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
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I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
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Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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