He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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