so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
