did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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