i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
