yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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