Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
