Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize