oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i think my mom watched the whole time
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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