no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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