he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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