So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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