THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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