well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
