Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize