dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
