Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize