Will you blow on my dice?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
