so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
