Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
