I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
