i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
