Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
