New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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