We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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