The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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