My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
