im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
