I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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