And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
