do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
