She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer