It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.