I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
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craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
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I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.