he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.