5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.