Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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