you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
