I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Your tits are I can't wait for
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Shame is for Republicans.
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