R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.