And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way