i just sent this text using only my big toe
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that