life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?