a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
