the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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