How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
